Choose Yourself

April 2, 2013

“Oh, that was close!” I realized the day I wallowed luxuriously in my drama.

Oh how seductive it was! How deliciously painful, how excruciatingly special. I suffered, I writhed in pain drawing plenty of attention to my self and being of so very …

special.

Until with the last remnant of presence I saw that, unnoticed in all the fun, there was a choice. I was choosing, all this time. I was choosing the trauma over myself.

“Oh! That was close!” I thought as I saw how very, very quickly the trauma set in, how perfectly it fitted itself back into my life ready to run it, organize it, live it. Ready to call itself Pausha.

“No such luck!” I said, “No such luck. I am not this trauma!” I exclaimed, and followed my choice with the magic words the wizard taught me:

ciao bullishita!

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