Find Out What You Want – Step #1

May 18, 2013

Do you find yourself plagued by indecisions?

Are countless ideas, possibilities and plans engaged in a deathly, endless combat with predictions of outcomes, consequences and treacherous pitfalls and potential mistakes in the  confines of your head, paralyzing you? Do you struggle to take a step, to make a choice, to pick a direction in a world full of uncertainty and doubt?

If that is you — you came to the right place: the place where answers live! And the answer #1 to the “I don’t know what I want” dilemma is:

To discover what you want first find out who you are!

I did, I believe, one night long ago, when I sat in a little meditation hall. It was the last meditation period of the day, night reined outside enveloping the world in darkness and silence. There was a candle burning at the altar, it’s soft light edging silents, immobile forms out of the shadows. I was one of those — darkly clad, quiet, perfectly still.


There were things happening inside, I remember them only vaguely, my thoughts were losing definition, the edges of the world were blurring, something whirled and turned upside-down and suddenly, as I looked at the hardwood floor before me I realized that … I am the floor!

I stared in astonishment and amusement — it was so funny! I was the floor! I should be quiet, I remembered, so I smothered the laughter but then, in the next moment the floor was gone, I was gone, everything was gone in an endless, boundless space.

There was such peace, such calm, such fundamental silence there, and then … I saw a flea.

A small, agitated black flee, hopping up and down trying to tear a little bit of that oneness, of that silence, of that boundlessness for itself. The flea wanted it separated, clearly defined, it’s. It yanked and jerked and pulled, yet the space would not break.

“Oh, this is my mind!” it occurred “it is the mind that wants to tear a piece of me out of the rest of me”.

How silly!

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