When has it begun? Some years ago. I remember the house I lived in then, the beautifully scoulpted grounds of Krotona Institute just around the corner. It was summer, I believe, though it is hard to tell … it’s always summer in Ojai.
I remember feeling bad, confronted, scared maybe, there must have been some pain because I was going to call the wizard and ask for a session to fix it, and then I though: no.
No.
“I will not call him and ask him to guide me through this” I thought. No. I will deal with it myself.
It was a disconcerting thought. I had no clue whether I could “deal with” anything on my own. I’ve never tried. I knew I won’t do it nearly as effectively, as quickly, as deeply as I would if the wizard was holding my hand but that was not the point. The point was: it was my life, it was my issue and it was my responsibility. The point was that, at long last, I was willing to learn how to walk on my own. On my own two feet.
I dealt with myself that day, by myself. I dealt with myself ever since and yes, I still played with the wizard now and then but our relationship begun to shift until, years later, I could no longer call him my teacher. We have become friends. Allies.
Just about the time when the shift was completed I learned that the wizard was leaving. “What a great timing!” I thought.
