I am with you

April 19, 2011

I woke up too early. There were noises around me, water running into the bathtub, birds singing their morning songs, dogs joining in the chorus with spirited barking.

I did not open my eyes, I did not want to enter the day just yet.

In the hazy, undefined space I felt love … it didn’t feel good … I was not quite myself there, not all the way real … there was unconsciousness there, trauma …

Childhood trauma, that’s what it was.

I looked there, the unconscious place opened and drifted away and I was present, present in relationship as what I am, in relationship with what he is…

Here there was no trauma – there is no trauma here, I am here, he is here. We are, and the space is unlimited, the possibility here is unlimited, for what I am, for hat he is, for what we are.

This is the meaning of honoring, a thought passed my mind, this is the very essence of honoring, this is what honoring means.

“I love you” did not hold this presence.

“I am with you” … this is what I say in this place: I am with you, I am present with you.

I say “I love you” and it feels flat, constricted. There is need, an attachment there, limits, ways of coping with reality, ways of surviving.

I say “I am with you” and there is only what I am, nothing else, only the presence for everything else, for anything else to open and become.

Honoring Presence

I am with you

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