Wolfish Adventure

March 24, 2008

I visited a desert yesterday, completed with dusty, sun bleached rocks, Joshua trees, dried, scrubby bushes and majestic mountains surrounding the valley. Some of them looked like they were floating few inches above ground – random rock formations or nearly symmetrical cones emerging from the flatness which, at a distance, seemed incredibly smooth. On the other side the mountains were high and capped by snow. The first impression I got after emerging from my car was that this is not a place for people to live. There are some settlements there, not really towns. There is a supermarket, some houses, and they are all in the wrong place. The “civilization” does not belong in the desert. The feeling of absolute, overwhelming wildness was so strong that, without realizing it but immediately, I ceased to be a “civilized person” myself, and became wild to match the surroundings. I realized what happened when we (my friends and I) arrived at the wolf rescue we came to visit. We expected a peaceful and quiet tour, just for us, with none or very few other visitors, a nice easter dinner … we got throngs of people, lots of noise and general confusion instead. What I would usually do is get irritated, confused, frustrated and generally uncomfortable. I would feel that it needed to be somehow, that I am disappointing friends I invited to come with me, I would be impatient at the waiting, uncomfortable with not knowing when we are going to do what … but I was not civilized anymore. Being wild – I was there. That seemed to be enough. I could not go play with the wolves yet, nor did I know when I will go – but that did not matter in the least. I was there, the desert was there, the wolves were there. We all matched. We were all connected, the energy was one, we shared it. And so I sat there, the confusion around me seeming like a dance, like reality working itself out and adjusting itself. I was absolutely, perfectly and completely content. I was there. We got to see the wolves up close at last, pet them, scratch their ears and receive some kisses when they were inclined to give them. It was wonderful, and even more wonderful was to sit in their paddock, with them, in silence. Just share the space. We did lots of sitting yesterday, sitting with the wolves, sitting under the tree in the afternoon when wolves were resting – they were resting, we were resting – it was perfect. It was the thing to do, just sit and be. I made some attempts to think, to wonder about the next day, what needs to be done, what will I work on, how will I solve … something – but I kept failing. I could not go there, it was not only irrelevant, it was beyond my reach at the moment. I was wild, I was not civilized. I could not worry, it was not the time to worry. It was the time to sit, and relax, and enjoy, and be. And then there was time to eat, and we ate. Then the experience was completed – and we left. We did not leave because we had to, or because of traffic, or because of anything else other than: it was time to go. It was a wonderful day and looking at it from the distance of my computer, back from “civilization” I can see how it could have been a terrible experience. Had I not become wild, had I stuck to my mind and it’s pressures, needs, constrictions, I would be utterly miserable yesterday. Everything would have been wrong, confusing, tiring and uncomfortable. It was a wonderful day because I allowed myself to align with nature. In that place nature was very powerful, it was powerful beyond mind’s ability to control reality. I let go of everything in me that was not supportive of me being wild, and so I, the desert, wolves, understood each other perfectly. We fully connected. If I didn’t let go – I would have to fight with nature, and I would loose.

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: