Do Not Kill?

February 7, 2013

Oh, oh, oh! Oh, how everything changed! How the world changed!

Oh, there is no more fear, of anything, not anymore!

Oh, how splendid!

I have never thought to look there – into my trauma, into the fear, into the hypochondria, the terror of sickness. This fear that was tormenting me, crippling me, strangling me – and I never thought to consider that … it might be a wonderful adventure, being sick!

I knew for so long the nonsense that lies behind the right and behind the wrong. I knew those two to be concepts without meaning, stories that limit, that blind, that split and do harm. I knew that the world does not follow such crude distinctions, I knew that myriads of subtleties, perspectives and aspects can’t be flattened and broken in two halves and yet, where it really mattered, where it really hurt, I followed this nonsense myself.

That which I feared I labeled as wrong.

Oh, what a relief it is, to remove this label, to remove the resistance and look with wonder at the transformation of the body that is called sickens, at the opening and graduation that is called death.

Oh, what a relief it is when there is nothing wrong anymore, nothing wrong that I need to be afraid of!

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