Who do you want to be when you grow up?

June 8, 2009

 “I move from wish to wish in my life“ I realized, while in a shower, a couple of days ago. “I wish to do something, to be something, and my life moves in that direction. I wished to become a psychologist for a while, then I wished to become a designer, then I wished to become a freelance designer to regain the freedom in my life, now I wish to become a writer.” Each wish comes up slowly, quietly, gently. Each wish opens and grows, until my life shifts and the wish is realized. Then, after some time, another wish appears. I don’t make those wishes up, I don’t think of them. They come, show up, emerge. I simply open to them, follow them, because each wish is about who I want to be. ”It’s just like one of my favorite books, a story about a boy making his way through the magic land of Fantasia.“ I realized. The boy has no other guide but his wishes, his innermost desires. Wishes that don’t determine what he has or what he does, but  rather shape who he is. He moves from one wish to another, he has to. If he ignores one wish he gets stuck, his journey stops. ”Fairy tales are our way of cheating the mind“ I thought. The mind says that reality is structured, predetermined, full of rules, regulations, boundaries and impossibilities. But we know better and we fool our mind by saying: oh, this is not real, this is just a fairy tale. That way our mind can safely entertain the idea. We know the truth however, children know the truth. My husband knew, when he was 6 years old, that he wants to be a trash truck driver. He wanted to be a trolly driver some time after that. Not because it was a respectable profession, not because it was a great carrier path nor because he would make a lot of money doing it, but simply because it was fun!  That was all that mattered. It was fun and he wanted to have fun. Then he wanted to be someone else, then someone else again. Until the day came when someone told him: you have to choose one thing you want to do in life. You have to choose it and stick to it, you can’t just keep changing your mind. You have to make money, you have to have a carrier, you have to have a steady job, you have to be safe.  ”What would happened if no one had told him all those things?” I wondered. What would happen if no one had told him he can’t do what he wants, be what he wants? What would happen if no one had ever told him that life is not for having fun, that life is for work? What would happen if no one had ever told him that life is broken, that the world has to be fixed, that he can’t just have fun, that he has to go make things better? What would happen to our lives if we could, just like kids, want to be a doctor, or a designer, or a writer, simply because it’s fun? And when we were done doing one thing we could do another, and then another?How would our lives look like if we knew, just like kids know, that we can be anything we want, at any time we want? In the story the boy traveled through Fantasia, guided by one wish after another. A wish to become the strongest and most brave, a wish to become the wisest, a wish to be part of a community, a wish to be loved, finally a wish to love. With the last wish the boy was led to the fountain of the water of life, and brought the water back to the human world.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

d f September 1, 2009 at 7:17 am

spelled “career” not carrier

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Pausha September 1, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Ha, the best way to ensure that people will comment on a post is to put some spelling mistakes in it 🙂

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