You Are The Truth

November 19, 2012

“Ah, this is why I feel so unsteady, uncomfortable, unsettled …”

I drifted in the dark, warm predawn space, my mind has not awaken yet, but I have. Outside the sky lightened a fraction over the ring of mountains. French mountains, foreign mountains. There were Californian mountains beyond my window only a few days ago.

I sank deeper into myself, touched the feeling of dread and fear … “I don’t want to wake up … I will stay here, I want to stay here … why?”

The question floated out and in, gathered me and pulled me deeper into myself until I touched the raw center. “This is truth” I realized. This place is the truth of me, my existence, my being. Naked.

“This is why I feel unhappy” I saw, “it is not home I miss but some structure, some garment for this naked truth of me. The script written for my life, the background of culture, the landscape of society have changed and gone alien and I am forced here, into this center, into this raw, naked truth¬†…

truth … not something that I know … something that I am … only what I am.”

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