It’s You

May 9, 2013

There was a rustle and then a sigh, in the bushes. Then a creak. I froze, strained my eyes to pierce the misty darkness but it was no use. The moon was nowhere to be seen, still asleep or else hidden by the fog, and the world was swatted with a dark, black night. I was alone with trees and … with whatever they hid among them. Or whomever.

A host of monsters, of sprites and imps sprung to my mind. I imagined them, yes, yet they were no less real, not to me, and the hot, sickening wave of fear rose and broke over my head soaking me down to my feet. I wanted to run. Telling myself that I was being silly, imagining things, was no use. I knew I was imagining things. That made them no less real, not to me.

I did not run, I stood and felt the fear because I thought: whatever happens I am here. Whatever comes out of those bushes it cannot make me lose myself. I am here. And as long as I am here – I am safe.

It can take my life away, this monster hiding in the darkness, it can pounce and grab me and drag me to another realm but it will still be me, I will still have myself. It can take Chris away, take my home away, take my stuff away. It can take away my body’s health, it can end this body’s life, but it cannot take away me. No matter where I am, no matter what I lose – I can still be. I can always be. I can remain myself.

And as long as I don’t lose myself, as long as I am here – I am safe.

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