Yes, chose anything. Do anything. Yes, I do believe that humans are free to do whatever they wish. Yes, that includes murder, violence and destruction. Yes, do anything you wish to do … as long as it is your choice.

Make your choice knowing that it is yours. Make it knowing that no god, life, universe nor any other human has made it for you.

Make your choice in full awareness of your freedom to make it. Be present to your freedom – there is no coercion, no pressures, no underlying needs nor unconscious desires forcing your hand.

Make your choice by yourself and for yourself, not in the interest of others nor on the others’ behalf.

Make your choice in this space, in this clarity. Make your choice and own it completely.

Make this choice and it doesn’t matter at all what you choose and yes, that includes murder, violence and destruction but then … in this clear, present space – would your choice ever be to kill or destroy?

“If I could just look” I thought to myself “just look at all this beauty”.

I commanded my eyes and they obeyed, and I saw the splendid clouds painted gold and yellow against the turquoise sky, at the scarlet lining on the horizon and the dark, ragged shapes of palm trees. I felt the balmy air against my skin and I gasped with wonder…

“How marvelous the world is! How beautiful the life!”

The universe swirled and shifted and in this new world all pain was gone. And fear. And drama and strife and hardships. All gone and I was different. The life was different, the universe was different, life was different.

There was nothing but beauty, but bliss, but light in the world, or in me.

The world has changed. I have changed. Life has changed.

It is because I have no definition here” I stated one day over a cafe table. It was a late evening in the southern France and it was cold because it was winter and I wasn’t all that sure I wanted to be here. Leaving California and moving down here seemed like a great idea in the summer but now … I wasn’t so sure. Even though the dinner was sublime. But life wasn’t.

I did not feel good. I did not feel present and happy, and having taking a look I came to the conclusion that what I felt was the discomfort of having no boundaries, no ground, no definition, no structure. No persona.

I knew who I was in Poland. There was a person called Patrycja in Poland, one that fitted into the background, that could be described, defined.

I knew who I was in California. It was a whole different me because it was a whole different place. I enjoyed being that person.

Here I don’t yet have a person to be. Here, in France, I don’t yet have my place, my niche, my structure. Here I am undefined, unconstricted, boundless. And it is uncomfortable.

“But it will change with time, right?” my husband asked, hopefully “you will build another structure here eventually”.

“Yes, yes I will” I said …

or maybe, just maybe … I won’t.

Maybe there is no need to be another person, another face, another name

maybe here, maybe now,

I can just be

unlimitedness.

“It is not about the action as much as it is about presence. It is about me being present as myself when I act” I said …

“Okay, so you imagine that you are present…” he responded …

“No, I don’t imagine – I am. It is not about thinking, it is about experiencing being. It is about being. I am.” I said. “Where did this come from?” I thought, “what did he hear me say?”

What do you hear when I say: I am present here, as myself?

Do you hear me claiming the possession of a higher state of awareness? An insight that is sharp and penetrating beyond what human senses can achieve? Do you her me claim enlightenment, special skills, super powers? Do you hear me proclaiming the sacred nature and profound depth of my experience?

Or do you see, in presence, a simple act of being, a choice of looking and its result, which is seeing?